(April 1 2006) Atomic Bird announces CrashBlocker Pro, a groundbreaking new Mac OS X utility.
CrashBlocker Pro makes you more productive and reduces stress by preventing applications from crashing, and by preventing Mac OS X itself from crashing!
How is this possible? It isn't! Most application crashes are caused by "bad" electrons in the application, usually the result of cosmic rays or possibly cost-cutting measures on the part of your electricity supplier. CrashBlocker Pro uses advanced quantum theory combined with a Reality Distortion Field to detect "bad" electrons in applications. These electrons are replaced with "good" electrons, keeping the application running smoothly. It's just like changing the oil in your car! While driving. Or something like that. Bad electrons are then transferred over the internet to a maximum-security prison, where they are tortured for their misdeeds until Bono holds a benefit concert for their freedom.
As a result, you have a warm fuzzy feeling of security, even though nothing is happening!
The process involves a patent-pending infinite improbability engine, implemented in software, in order to accomplish system stability well beyond the limits of the laws of physics.
Best of all, CrashBlocker Pro is free!
CrashBlocker Pro requires Mac OS X 10.4. Or maybe it doesn't. Who knows?
Of course, there are sure to be upgrades, which will no doubt prevent Microsoft Office from crashing or doing really stupid things to bullet lists and spelling. Look for it the same time next year. Word is, though, that you may have to pay for this one.